Some hilarious quotes

These are some amazing things that my special ed kids have said, during the course of a normal day at school. Needless to say, I love my job.


Xia: Miss Mel, what's that you're tying on your head?
Me: It's a scarf, to keep my hair out of my face.
Xia: Oh, like NINJAS wear?
Me: Yes, Xia. . . .exactly like ninjas wear.

Me: Lucas, what does "average" mean? Like, say, an "average" family?
Lucas: Oh, well, average families are . . . .like the ones who go on safaris, in the jungle.
Me: What?
Lucas: Yeah, they go on safaris. But I can't go on safaris, because I'm Norwegian.
Me: Lucas, do you mean AFRICAN families?
Lucas: Oh. . .yeah. What does average mean then?

This morning, while reading the lunch menu for the coming week with the boys.
Jason: Miss Mel, look! It's Sesame Street Chicken!
Me: Jason, don't you mean SESAME Chicken?
Jason: Oh. . .yeah, that's what I meant. Sesame Street Chicken.
Me (rolling my eyes and trying not to laugh.)

One day during math class.
Lucas: Jack, what happened to your finger? (Jack's been missing his right index finger since birth.)
Jack: (looking horrified) Oh! Gosh! Where's my finger?
Me: Jack, honey, you've never had one.
Jack: Oh.

While making Valentine's bags with Jason, a really awkward ten year old with a blonde rat-tail:
Jason: Miss Mel, you're cute. . .
Me: Uh, Jason, just work on your project. . .Why did you just say that?
Jason: Uh, cuz you're nice.
Me: Oh, well, thank you.
Dustin: Shason (he lisps), you stop being a suck-up!

Jessica: Miss Mel, look at my shirt!
Xia (reading Jessica's shirt): Hmmm. . ."Girls. . .Rule."
Angela: Yeah! Girls Rule!
Me: Okay, whatever, Angela.
Dustin: But, Miss Mel, why can't just ALL people rule? I don't get it. . . .

And on Valentine's Day:
Me: So, kids, what does it mean when you "love" someone?
Lucas: Oh. . . .um. . .that's when you have a passion for someone. . .
(Wow. I think I melted at that point.)

And, on my fashion sense: I was wearing my cute new hat from Savers. . .
Lucas: Miss Mel! You look like the scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz!
Me: Oh. . .thank you, Lucas.

While looking up word "happiness" in the dictionary with Jason:
Me: Jason, what does the word "happiness" mean? What do you think?
Jason (completely blank stare): Uhh. . . .does it mean you have a fairy godmother?

"God Laughs and Plays"

This quote from David James Duncan's book, God Laughs and Plays, seems to express my thoughts on the divine better than I ever could:

"God is Unlimited. Thought and language are limited. God is the fathomless
but beautiful Mystery Who creates the Universe and you and me, and sustains it
and us every instant, and always shall. The instant we define this fathomless
Mystery It is no longer fathomless. To define is to limit. The greater a
person's confidence in their definition of God, the more sure I feel that
their worship of 'Him' has become the worship of their own definition. I don't
point this out to insult the fundamentalists' or any one else's God. I point
it out to honor the fathomless Mystery."

My spirituality is. . . .

to work with the forgotten,
to see those who are unseen,
to love those who are alone,
to touch those who hurt,
to seek wholeness for every person,
to welcome any and all, just as they are,
to accept every person,
to seek beauty and wrestle with tragedy,
to say more in silence or touch than words ever could,
to let prayer be more of a wordless longing than an exhaustive oratory,
to love so fully that it hurts,
to weep for pain and loss and humanity,
to see epiphanies of truth in the most mundane,
to celebrate and revel in mystery,
to see true, holistic freedom,
to know others, myself and the divine deeply and truly,
to work for authentic expression,
to believe that community is possible and prejudice will not prevail,
to have a constant reverence and awe,
to learn from those who are at the beginning or end of life (children and
elderly) or who are most simply themselves (the disabled),
to listen well and hear others' hearts and not just their words,
and to seek "something more". . . .