Some hilarious quotes

These are some amazing things that my special ed kids have said, during the course of a normal day at school. Needless to say, I love my job.


Xia: Miss Mel, what's that you're tying on your head?
Me: It's a scarf, to keep my hair out of my face.
Xia: Oh, like NINJAS wear?
Me: Yes, Xia. . . .exactly like ninjas wear.

Me: Lucas, what does "average" mean? Like, say, an "average" family?
Lucas: Oh, well, average families are . . . .like the ones who go on safaris, in the jungle.
Me: What?
Lucas: Yeah, they go on safaris. But I can't go on safaris, because I'm Norwegian.
Me: Lucas, do you mean AFRICAN families?
Lucas: Oh. . .yeah. What does average mean then?

This morning, while reading the lunch menu for the coming week with the boys.
Jason: Miss Mel, look! It's Sesame Street Chicken!
Me: Jason, don't you mean SESAME Chicken?
Jason: Oh. . .yeah, that's what I meant. Sesame Street Chicken.
Me (rolling my eyes and trying not to laugh.)

One day during math class.
Lucas: Jack, what happened to your finger? (Jack's been missing his right index finger since birth.)
Jack: (looking horrified) Oh! Gosh! Where's my finger?
Me: Jack, honey, you've never had one.
Jack: Oh.

While making Valentine's bags with Jason, a really awkward ten year old with a blonde rat-tail:
Jason: Miss Mel, you're cute. . .
Me: Uh, Jason, just work on your project. . .Why did you just say that?
Jason: Uh, cuz you're nice.
Me: Oh, well, thank you.
Dustin: Shason (he lisps), you stop being a suck-up!

Jessica: Miss Mel, look at my shirt!
Xia (reading Jessica's shirt): Hmmm. . ."Girls. . .Rule."
Angela: Yeah! Girls Rule!
Me: Okay, whatever, Angela.
Dustin: But, Miss Mel, why can't just ALL people rule? I don't get it. . . .

And on Valentine's Day:
Me: So, kids, what does it mean when you "love" someone?
Lucas: Oh. . . .um. . .that's when you have a passion for someone. . .
(Wow. I think I melted at that point.)

And, on my fashion sense: I was wearing my cute new hat from Savers. . .
Lucas: Miss Mel! You look like the scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz!
Me: Oh. . .thank you, Lucas.

While looking up word "happiness" in the dictionary with Jason:
Me: Jason, what does the word "happiness" mean? What do you think?
Jason (completely blank stare): Uhh. . . .does it mean you have a fairy godmother?