Cuanto yo extrano el pais de primavera eterna. . . .

Today, I miss Guatemala so strangely. I woke up with the biggest craving for fresh tortillas, and I just wished that I could smell the "smells" of that place once again. I wish that I could wake up and see the volcanoes again, and walk through the park each morning, when it's still being cleaned from the night before, and the men are using big palm branches to sweep the sidewalks. I miss have pineapple every morning, like clockwork, and having real coffee to end breakfast. I miss getting on a crowded chicken bus, filled to bursting, and riding up into the mountains among all these people who think me to be quite strange. I miss speaking Spanish and hearing it wherever I walk. I miss going to the Market, and buying flowers for 20 cents a bundle. I miss the sounds of Antigua, the men yelling for the buses, the indigenous women peddling their small wares, and even just the rush of the fountain in the center of town. I miss seeing the colonial ruins every day, and pondering the amazing story that they must tell, if only I could see back in time, to when they were beautiful cathedrals. I miss having slower time, when life was about people and enjoying each other and just doing life together, rather than schedule and money and things and success. In Latin America, they have found a truth into life that we in America will never understand. . . . .but they truly know what it means to be about community, each other and just living life in the moment. They weren't intent on getting as much done as possible or getting ahead of the game or trying to be as successful as possible, but they just lived and were about each other, rather than their own individual stories. I feel lost among American culture sometimes (a lot of times), not for any huge reason in particular. . . . .but sometimes I wonder (and want to believe) that this is not how life was supposed to be. This individualistic, materialistic, instant gratification culture perhaps has a more marred identity than the Third World countries that know how to truly do community, enjoy life, dance, go slowly, and have real joy and truly be themselves. There's so much more that I have to discover, and today is just yet another day of pondering these things that I will never have an answer to. . . . . . . . . .