Stupid, pointless homework

I'm sitting at the computer here at J-Porch, wallowing in my f-ing writer's block. It's my own fault that I waited this long to finish all of these papers, but I really don't give a shit about them. I know that they are important topics, about capitalism and religion and such, and that I should learn something from them, but my mind is just not very engaged in it tonight. I have too many other things that are floating through my head. . .
When I got up this morning, maybe I had some kind of naive idealism in my head, but throughout the day, it gradually became less and less, because one thing after another reminded me about the shittiness of life. It's impossible to ignore the pain in people's lives. . . . .and my own conflicts with others. It sucks to have to bring something up from the past and talk about it, it's sometimes like digging at an almost-healed wound, but it needs to be done. It makes me sick to my stomach just thinking about having to talk to someone about conflicts. . . . .especially if I know that I am the one who hurt them. I guess sometimes I think that I'm good when it comes to friends, and that people actually like me; but then I am smacked in the face with the reality that I let someone down. . . .what a humbling moment.
To that person, I'm sorry (I think you know who you are).